holySmith!

If you haven’t heard about Microsoft Surface, it is basically a really neat thing that looks like either a coffee table or an old Pac-Man sit-down arcade screen.

Microsoft Surface

You have to watch the promo videos to appreciate all the cool shit this thing can (could) do, like when you set your smartphone down on it, it recognizes it and enables you to transfer files, music, pictures, etc. It would allow you to sync your portable music device with new tunes, or share tunes with someone who has another device, just by setting the devices on the . . . wait for it . . . Surface.

But the biggest thing I want to know is this: Will this bagillion dollar gadget Xerox your butt and send that (extremely disturbing and brutally detailed) image to your friends?

‘Cause if it does, sign me up. I can totally think of some folks who I’d like to e-moon (full choad) right now.

Here’s the latest “Conversations with a 2-year-old”. Remember, all episodes are re-enactments of actual conversations between holySmith! and holySmith! The Boy. Enjoy! (Hey, that rhymed.)

holySmith! just won the 2009 World Series of Solitaire!

Here’s a shot of the action:

Don’t worry, I am sure the replay will be on ESPN 2 fairly soon so you can see it for yourself.

For active women, this is probably a fantastic product. But for men who love active women, this website is a must-see. This is hands-down the best Flash-based website I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot given my past 9 years as an anti-Flash website SEO guy.

When you get there, may I recommend the FF+G with the Extreme/Horseriding option.

Mesmerizing.

(o)(o)

Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Linked-In - the social networks were predictably mute today after the holySmith! AntiSocial Network website went live. The holySmith! AntiSocial Network was overlooked by the fine douchewhanks over at CNN - the same network that features “news” anchors sitting at a desk reading live twitter feeds to you, the masses, and passing it off as real news.

Because we really give a crap about what “real” people think, especially the ones who write things like: “r u seerius? CNN rprtng kix @$$!!!!!!!”

The holySmith! AntiSocial Network is made up website lurkers (never post comments) and by “hardcore” AntiSocial Networkers who never even bothered to sign up for Facebook and Twitter accounts.

One holySmith! AntiSocial Networker (who chose to remain anonymous due to the likelyhood that putting his name on the Internet would instantly get his identity stolen) said, “This whole Internet thing’s just a scam. Google’s out there gathering up all the information you have so they can sell it to the Germans and Chinese. Facebook is just a high school popularity contest and MySpace is just where douchebags post pictures of themselves and their same four friends in the same stupid poses with the same bottles of Gray Goose but in different clubs. I don’t need any of that. Oh yeah, and Obama’s a socialist.”

The holySmith! AntiSocial Network website currently has an Alexa ranking number that is higher than the current national debt. The site gets zero traffic, yet it is arguably the largest network of AntiSocialers in the universe. Not even the GoogleBot visits the site.

“We’re not bringing anyone together here,” said holySmith!, founder of the holySmith! AntiSocial Network. “We are the masses of people who refuse to buy into this whole social networking buzz. Our non-networking network is really the largest of any of these sites because there are way more AntiSocialers out there than all the Tweeters, MySpacers, and Facebookers combined. Our people choose not to connect for lots of reasons, but mostly because they think the FBI is cyberstalking them so they can steal their money and funnel it to the Cubans to bankroll the forthcoming nuclear attack on Alaska even though we’ll all think it was the Taliban and the North Koreans so we can go to war and shoot guns in the air again without penalty. . .or because they think Obama is a socialist. These are real people who choose not to buy into society’s machine.”