Jeley brought in cookies to the office today. Mrs. Jeley made them. I tried one.

Holy shit.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies, had they been put into play politically several months ago, could have been the bargaining chip that brought sweeping change to the healthcare industry with unanimous support from both political parties, no questions asked.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies are so F-ing good that they could easily save a marriage.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies almost caused me to want to tolerate lactose. Almost. It was –>] [<– this close!

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies can easily cause you to break out into full-on schoolgirl skipping, even if you’re a card-carrying MAN with chest hair and a radial-arm saw.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies are the secret that Victoria has been withholding all these years.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies were, with regard to Darth Vader, what Padme was referring to when she said “there is still good in him” in Star Wars: Episode III.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies, had they been present at the Garden of Eden, would have been reason enough for holySmith! to attend church all these years instead of going fishing or watching football on Sundays.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies could possibly make it snow in Phoenix. holySmith! now expects a white Xmas in Tempe. Mark it down weatherman. Mark it down.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies, along with the cookies of holySmith! The Wife and holySmith! The Mother-in-Law have brought Xmas joy to holySmith!, even in these trying economic times. And for that, we are thankful.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies are the key to world peace is a post from: holySmith!

holyMetro Grill!

holySmith! The Fans (Clark, Colleen and Rex) treated holySmith! The Family to a rather fantastic dinner this week at the prestigious Metropolitan Grill in Springfield, MO. You’d never guess that Springfield (home of the Simpsons, Bass Pro Shops, Tracker Boats, and O’Reilly Automotive) would have such a kick-ass place to fine dine, but all holySmith! can say is . . .

WOW.

I ordered the 7-oz. fillet. Our waiter handed me a steak knife and said, “I’m going to give this to you, but you probably won’t need it since you can use your butter knife to cut it,” to which I replied, “OK, let’s put that to the test.”

But instead of using the better knife to cut my steak, I used my fork. And it cut through the steak like it was hot butter. It was awesome. Everything about it was awesome. Perfect steak.

This is the spinach appetizer. It kicks new levels of culinary ass.

They also have this spinach appetizer which is prepared in such a way that it is light and flaky, and it literally melts in your mouth. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen or tasted – again, awesome.

Don’t even get me started about desert. I had the turtle cheesecake, which is to cheesecake what Phoebe Cates coming out of the pool in her red bikini in Fast Times at Ridgemont High is to full-frontal nude scenes. Seriously. It’s that good.

holySmith! The Wife confirmed that the wine selections were top-notch and that combined with the fact that we had a private room and specially prepared gourmet mac-and-cheese with chicken for holySmith! The Boy and holySmith! The Niece made for an incredible evening from start to finish.

holySmith! special thanks to Clark, Colleen and Rex – seriously you guys – we had a lot of fun and we’re glad we finally got to meet you after all these years! Hope to see you again sometime soon!

Metropolitan Grill Springfield, MO is a post from: holySmith!

I haven’t done a good “Eat Here!” post in a while, and I have been meaning to for a while. This place is down in Chandler on Ray/Dobson right by the Fry’s there on the northeast corner and it’s called Penny’s Ice Cream.

Yes, it is an ice cream place, as the name implies, but they do a lot of good stuff in addition to the ice cream, like sandwiches, wraps, bakery stuff, etc. Eddy, the owner, is quite the breakfast croissant maker if holySmith! does say so himself.

And holySmith! does says so, for the record.

It’s a small place, but they crank out some awesome stuff. I recommend the breakfast croissants including the bacon/cheese, ham/cheese, or the croissants stuffed with strawberry/cream. They kick ass.

Eddy takes care of us when we go with our friends and holySmith! The Boy is a regular there now, too. If you need a good breakfast place on a weekend or you just need a cup of coffee or tea, try Penny’s Ice Cream parlor.

And you can tell him holySmith! sent you (but they probably won’t know who that is and they will look at you funny and ask you who the hell holySmith! is because I don’t think we’ve ever told him that I have a blog).

Penny’s Ice Cream – Chandler, AZ is a post from: holySmith!

Now that I am as house-poor as it gets, I have recently instituted a new Peanut Butter & Jelly lunch policy for myself, and it got me thinking.

Back in the day, I used to eat one standard sized Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich per day in my lunch. There was usually a drink box, often an apple (Red Delicious), and usually a Fruit Rollup. I pretty much ate the same thing from Kindergarten through my Junior year of high school, so about 13 years. I put down more than 3500 Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches in that span.

I continued to eat them over the summers, but I took a break from them between the end of high school (we had an open campus my senior year so we ate fast food) through part of college.

Once I moved out and didn’t have holySmith! the Mother to cook for me, my PBJ intake increased. I seem to remember working for a major warehouse club and always buying the giant Jiff peanut butter keg thing along with the double Welch’s Grape Jelly pack with the huge jars and the double-loaves of white bread as is common to all warehouse clubs.

But it wasn’t until today that I ate my 4000th Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich. With number 4k, I step into an elite group of only 23 other people in the history of lunch who have eclipsed the 4000 PBJ mark. It’s one of the hallowed records of the modern era. This also puts me in a great position to be in the PBJHOF (that’s the Peanut Butter & Jelly Hall of Fame). I am eligible for induction in 2012, and I would say that with these numbers, I am a first-ballot lock.

I would also like to add that this accomplishment is in no way “tainted”. Period. You people can say what you want about it.

holySmith! joins 4000 Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich Club is a post from: holySmith!

Few times do I dub things “The Greatest Ever”, but in this case, there is no question.

Häagen-Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream is the greatest food substance ever produced by man. Period.

Let it be known that I am passionate about pizza. I love lasagna. I am Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, but I am hopelessly addicted to Häagen-Dazs chocolate peanut butter ice cream. I have tried other brands, but often the chocolate ice cream is too sugary or too bland. Cold Stone Creamery uses soft peanut butter that practically dissolves in the ice cream, so it just doesn’t taste right. Baskin Robbins is too sugary with not enough chunks of peanut butter. Thrifty Ice Cream just doesn’t have the richness of the Häagen-Dazs chocolate ice cream, so it is really no contest.

Most other grocery store brands just don’t offer a chocolate peanut butter option at all. It’s like they fear The Dazs, so they don’t even go there.

But even at $3.69/pint, I don’t mind spending more for the Häagen-Dazs. It is too good in every way. It combines the perfect amount of peanut butter with the right amount of chunks. The peanut butter is frozen and it takes some work to get through it, but you get to enjoy it longer. There are really few things that are so rich tasting and so rewarding. It is definitely the Cadillac of ice cream.

My only complaint is that they don’t sell the larger size of this flavor. I have to buy the pint containers, but I don’t know, maybe that’s ok. It forces me to not take too much, as we Americans often do, which protects me from ruining the greatness of this ice cream via over-indulgance. I suppose that in this way, it is difficult to get burned out on it.

I tried to shake up my life recently and try a few other flavors. While they were all good, none of them were great. None of them were even in the same league.

Häagen-Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream is like a Stan Musial or an Alber Pujols in a room full of Buddy Biancalanas. It is simply on another level.

You must try this ice cream. When you do, you will have taken your first step into a larger world.

The greatest. Ever. is a post from: holySmith!