Jeley brought in cookies to the office today. Mrs. Jeley made them. I tried one.

Holy shit.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies, had they been put into play politically several months ago, could have been the bargaining chip that brought sweeping change to the healthcare industry with unanimous support from both political parties, no questions asked.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies are so F-ing good that they could easily save a marriage.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies almost caused me to want to tolerate lactose. Almost. It was –>] [<– this close!

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies can easily cause you to break out into full-on schoolgirl skipping, even if you’re a card-carrying MAN with chest hair and a radial-arm saw.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies are the secret that Victoria has been withholding all these years.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies were, with regard to Darth Vader, what Padme was referring to when she said “there is still good in him” in Star Wars: Episode III.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies, had they been present at the Garden of Eden, would have been reason enough for holySmith! to attend church all these years instead of going fishing or watching football on Sundays.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies could possibly make it snow in Phoenix. holySmith! now expects a white Xmas in Tempe. Mark it down weatherman. Mark it down.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies, along with the cookies of holySmith! The Wife and holySmith! The Mother-in-Law have brought Xmas joy to holySmith!, even in these trying economic times. And for that, we are thankful.

Mrs. Jeley’s cookies are the key to world peace is a post from: holySmith!

holyMetro Grill!

holySmith! The Fans (Clark, Colleen and Rex) treated holySmith! The Family to a rather fantastic dinner this week at the prestigious Metropolitan Grill in Springfield, MO. You’d never guess that Springfield (home of the Simpsons, Bass Pro Shops, Tracker Boats, and O’Reilly Automotive) would have such a kick-ass place to fine dine, but all holySmith! can say is . . .

WOW.

I ordered the 7-oz. fillet. Our waiter handed me a steak knife and said, “I’m going to give this to you, but you probably won’t need it since you can use your butter knife to cut it,” to which I replied, “OK, let’s put that to the test.”

But instead of using the better knife to cut my steak, I used my fork. And it cut through the steak like it was hot butter. It was awesome. Everything about it was awesome. Perfect steak.

This is the spinach appetizer. It kicks new levels of culinary ass.

They also have this spinach appetizer which is prepared in such a way that it is light and flaky, and it literally melts in your mouth. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen or tasted – again, awesome.

Don’t even get me started about desert. I had the turtle cheesecake, which is to cheesecake what Phoebe Cates coming out of the pool in her red bikini in Fast Times at Ridgemont High is to full-frontal nude scenes. Seriously. It’s that good.

holySmith! The Wife confirmed that the wine selections were top-notch and that combined with the fact that we had a private room and specially prepared gourmet mac-and-cheese with chicken for holySmith! The Boy and holySmith! The Niece made for an incredible evening from start to finish.

holySmith! special thanks to Clark, Colleen and Rex – seriously you guys – we had a lot of fun and we’re glad we finally got to meet you after all these years! Hope to see you again sometime soon!

Metropolitan Grill Springfield, MO is a post from: holySmith!

For active women, this is probably a fantastic product. But for men who love active women, this website is a must-see. This is hands-down the best Flash-based website I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot given my past 9 years as an anti-Flash website SEO guy.

When you get there, may I recommend the FF+G with the Extreme/Horseriding option.

Mesmerizing.

(o)(o)

Best use of Flash technology ever is a post from: holySmith!

John Smith & Pocahontas

Thanks for asking. Pocahontas is doing well.

WTF? You might ask.

Well, holySmith! chose the name holySmith! because Al Gore, or whichever toolbox invented the Internet, decided to use JohnSmith.com and JonSmith.com as his first two examples of what a domain name is. That means everyone with the name Jo(h)n Smith automatically got screwed out of a domain name right out of the gate.

Sure it’s cool when we get credit card offers in the mail, the card already has our name on it. It’s also neat that we are the first name you see when you see on your new phone (until you peel that plastic layer off that shows you the example display). Yes it’s funny when people meet you for the first time and they say stuff like “Is that your REAL name?” or “Yeah, right!” or “Do you build toilets?”

And of course, they always think they are the first to say “So how is Pocahontas these days, anyway?”

Actually, once you look your Jo(h)n Smith Complex in the eyes and embrace it, it quickly becomes one of the greatest experiences in your life. I literally get excited at the moment just before someone introduces me to someone else either at work or as friends. As soon as they say, “and this is Jon Smith” you see the look of disbelief on the other person’s face when they realize that they actually just met someone named Jo(h)n Smith. The novelty never wears off for me, nor should it for you.

That’s why holySmith! has started the Facebook group: “Guys named Jo(h)n Smith who love being asked how Pocahontas is doing“. The group is open to all those who share the name (and variations of it) as well as to all those who know a guy with that name. . .in other words, you are reading this. . .I know who you are. . .I know your IP address. . .I have Google Analytics. . .you have no excuses!

So check out the group and the new holySmith! Facebook page. If you’re crafty, maybe you can find the real me on Facebook! Good luck with that search.

Pocahontas is doing well is a post from: holySmith!

Screw Xmas, let’s celebrate the 200th post of holySmith.com!

I honestly had no idea I was on my 200th post until I upgraded my WordPress for like the 28th time in as many weeks. Now they have this new admin dashboard that shows you fun stats like the number of posts you have, etc. I love WordPress, but they update this thing so often, it’s almost as hard to keep up with as holySmith! The Boy these days.

Anyhoo, it’s the holidays. We had some friends over a week or two ago and I went back to my beer roots a bit and picked out a bomber bottle of beer that looked interesting. It is called Cordillera Blanca White Chocolate Ale and it is made here in AZ by the Sonoran Brewing Company. Two words: GOOD SHIT.

Their website is awful, so it is clear they spend all their time and effort on the beer, which is a good thing.

I haven’t enjoyed a beer like I did this one in quite some time. It’s smooth, drinkable, and it actually has a fantastic lingering aftertaste. I’d have to say it is a strong candidate for one of my all-time favorites, indeed. I am not nearly the beer-snob I once was, but this one is a keeper for sure. To steal a line from Ferris Beuller: If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

And that’s the 200th post. It always comes back to the beer.

Happy 200th post, holySmith! is a post from: holySmith!