Look out, lexicographers, “text” is now a verb (MSNBC said so). I text. You text. We text. He texted her, she texted me. Everyone loves texting — even though it sounds completely retarded when people say “texted”. In fact, some people love it so much that they are getting hurt and going to the ER because they are engaging in crappy, unreadable shorthand text message ping-pong and losing their ability to walk/drive at the same time.
That’s awesome.
Originally, text messages were the answer to the age-old dilemma of what to do when you’re stuck on the toilet and need to talk, but you don’t want to make it obvious to someone that you are poop-talking (the echo is a dead give-away). Now look what they do.
In a related story, medical professionals are reporting a dramatic increase in the number of Blackberry-induced rectal-cranial inversions this year.
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Yeah, and douches like douching. This is why I come to holydouche.com for all my breaking news.
It’s an El Gammy sighting! I don’t believe it! Call CNN!! (update your damn blog so I have something to comment on with venom and rage.)