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Ants on the Apples

Apple Store @ Biltmore

The ants swarmed around each little crumb, devouring it, bit by bit. It was a scene of natural beauty and utter creepiness. I looked left: ants. I looked right: ants.

Then one of the ants talked.

He said, “Welcome to the Apple Store!”

I was like, “Yes,” and I tried to avoid eye contact for fear of a sales pitch or worse, that he’d ask me to crack open my over-the-shoulder case. . .the one which holds the Windows 7-based Sony Vaio F series with the Intel Core i7 processor and stunning, full 1080p/BlueRay playing laptop beast I have.

That might have been weird.

So I made a quick round, avoiding the ants and pretending to care about individual items for a second, just so I could get a look at the fanboy/fangirls-that-look-like-fanboys-fest that was unfolding before my eyes. It wasn’t all lame. I managed to find an un-drooled-upon iPad and gave it a few quick pokes. It’s kinda neat, but nothing that ignites my passion to want to wait in line or spend money for it right now.

Sensing that ants were coming my way again, I quickly illuminated the screen of my WinMo-variety smart phone that also plays music, has a touch screen, connects seamlessly with Exchange and whatever else I want it to AND that makes phone calls, is on a 4G network AND AND AND has an interchangeable battery, just to check the time, which of course is displayed in a minimalist yet unique font with subtle accents, only to find that it was time for my meeting.

I made for the exit and my quick trip to the Apple Store was complete.

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