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Brett Farve should sing christian songs

I can only imagine how crappy this is.

I can only image how crappy this is.

Have you ever seen that damned Time/Life commercial for their “I Can Only Imagine” collection of Christian music? It shows the “artists” singing their whiny-ass songs to arenas filled with white people who all have their hands raised to the sky (palms open), crying, and singing the words.

These are my questions:
1) How in the name of Zeus’ butthole do all these white people know the words to these songs? It’s not like 4Him are the Beatles or anything.

2) WHY do all the white people do that hands in the air, eyes closed, swaying thing for every christian music group? They look like the faceless kids who march into the meat grinder in Pink Floyd’s The Wall movie. Seriously.

3) Does anyone actually listen to this crap? After looking at the playlist, I think Cartman was right – all you have to do is name your band something dumb like “4him” or “Mercy Me” or “Amy Grant”, then write any crappy lyrics and just pepper it with some Jesus references and you, too, can be a christian rockstar.

So what the hell does this have to do with Brett Farve? Hell if I know. Maybe he can do a christian duet with Amy Grant and do halftime shows at Lambeau Field this season. That way, Packers fans get to continue their blind worship of Brett Farve and then they can throw snowballs and icicle spears at Amy Grant at the same time. Everybody wins.

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