TEMPE, AZ – The national average of holySmith! has increased for the 29th straight week to more than $4.96 per gallon for regular, and as high as $6.02 for premium holySmith!, particularly in affluent areas where bragging rights are at stake between neighbors and coworkers to see who paid more to fill up their tank on any given day.
Officials attribute the continued increase in holySmith! prices across the nation to increasing demand for holySmith! by consumers.
“It has become clear that people aren’t willing to make sacrifices or do without holySmith!” a spokesperson for holySmith! said. “Our strategy is simple: if people are willing to keep paying for it, we are willing to keep increasing the cost of it. We equate this to a staring contest between two 8-year-olds and we have no intention of blinking.”
So far, despite idle threats of holySmith! boycotts, half-assed protests, and declarations of intent to purchase more holySmith!-efficient vehicles, the general public continues to fork over the cash when it comes to consuming holySmith! and there is no sign that consumers will let up.
“We are consumers, it’s what we do,” said a consumer spokesperson. “As consumers, it is our role to consume as much as we can consume while claiming to be mad about it at the same time. Seriously, it’s not like we are really going to do anything about it. This is a truly historic time for consuming.”
Experts are predicting that the holySmith! bubble will burst by Q3 2009.