Instead of having the Feds try to prevent the Greater Depression from happening this week, perhaps we should turn things over to George Lucas.
You see, George Lucas could single-handedly lift America out of this economic disaster, just like Yoda did for Luke in Empire when he used the Force to pull the X-Wing from the swamp on Dagobah. George Lucas would feel the Force flowing through him, stretch out with his feelings, and turn this whole crappy story of bad debt, wreckless investments, and bad decisions into one of market opportunity, complete with action figures, full-color story books, Pez dispensers, whatever else, and video games.
Yes, George Lucas would have turned this financial crisis into a video game, available on all platforms, and let us play through the adventure so that we could understand what’s happening and prevent it from happening in real life. We could play as any character we wanted, wielding all the powers of the financial Force, kind of like how it is in Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. Only with money instead of Force Choke.
George Lucas would then take the ridiculous amounts of cash and re-invest into future technologies, infrastructure, and stuff like THX and ILM, which could then turn into massive spin-off businesses that eventually bring balance to the financial Force.
It would bring passion into economics. . .and by passion, I mean geeks. People like me and Todd over at PlayWhat.com and hordes of others who blindly follow anything that George Lucas has to offer. We’re the most loyal crowd in the history of crowds because we have been eating up every scrap of shit that His George-iness has tossed at us from over the fence at the quite well-protected Skywalker Ranch since late 1977. I would say that we, the Star Wars faithful, are a viable economic force in our own right.
Indeed, George Lucas could fix this whole mess. If he knows nothing else, he knows two important things: One, he understands that an incredible musical score can make even the crappiest movie fantastic, and Two, he can mass market the shit out of anything and make huge profits with the right licensing deal in place.
Like he does for Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, and Harrison Ford, George Lucas would own the likeness of each of the dead presidents featured on printed money so that every time someone used said money, he got royalties for using the likenesses. It’s brilliant. Brilliant, I tell you.
In George we trust.