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holySmith! joins 4000 Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich Club

Now that I am as house-poor as it gets, I have recently instituted a new Peanut Butter & Jelly lunch policy for myself, and it got me thinking.

Back in the day, I used to eat one standard sized Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich per day in my lunch. There was usually a drink box, often an apple (Red Delicious), and usually a Fruit Rollup. I pretty much ate the same thing from Kindergarten through my Junior year of high school, so about 13 years. I put down more than 3500 Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches in that span.

I continued to eat them over the summers, but I took a break from them between the end of high school (we had an open campus my senior year so we ate fast food) through part of college.

Once I moved out and didn’t have holySmith! the Mother to cook for me, my PBJ intake increased. I seem to remember working for a major warehouse club and always buying the giant Jiff peanut butter keg thing along with the double Welch’s Grape Jelly pack with the huge jars and the double-loaves of white bread as is common to all warehouse clubs.

But it wasn’t until today that I ate my 4000th Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich. With number 4k, I step into an elite group of only 23 other people in the history of lunch who have eclipsed the 4000 PBJ mark. It’s one of the hallowed records of the modern era. This also puts me in a great position to be in the PBJHOF (that’s the Peanut Butter & Jelly Hall of Fame). I am eligible for induction in 2012, and I would say that with these numbers, I am a first-ballot lock.

I would also like to add that this accomplishment is in no way “tainted”. Period. You people can say what you want about it.

{ 3 comments… add one }
  • El Gammy August 15, 2007, 3:14 pm

    Just so you know, as I saw you eat that 4000th PB&J sandwich, I simply stood up and put my hands in my pockets. And you can bet your broke-ass I’ll be in a suspiciously distant meeting when you break the record.

    All kidding aside, I guarantee I’m porer than you are right now (see? I can’t even afford the other vowel in “poor”). Even if we had the same exact amount of money in our pockets (about $3.50), I would still be considered to be more broke than you are simply because I’m Mexican (the darker skin is the tie-breaker).

    Because of said extreme individual poverty, I’ll be enforcing a strict bean & cheese taco diet (the Mexican equivalent to PB&J sandwiches) for the next month or so. Thanks for the inspiration holySmith!

  • MrSmith August 15, 2007, 3:31 pm

    I am glad my impoverished conditions are a source of inspiration to someone. Maybe some wealthy spinster will read this and hire me as her live-in cabana boy for a while to supplement my income. I suppose there is a silver lining in every story.

  • jeley August 17, 2007, 3:46 pm

    It is a well known fact that adding potato chips to a PeeBee & Jay is considered cheating. If any of those 4000 sandwiches (allegedly) contained even a sinlge Lay’s (and we all know you can’t eat just one), this record is suspect. But, seing that we won’t actually test you for said fried potato snacks, we will never have definitive proof…

    However, to get into The Hall, you are gonna have to grease a lot of palms, cause no one votes for a cheater unless appropriately paid to overlook such things.

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