President John F. Kennedy (still dead) once said (and holySmith! quotes), “The greater our knowledge increases, the greater our ignorance unfolds.”
And with that, I give you the following. . .
Because the major American online news sources told me that these things are important, holySmith! is pondering the tough questions facing our nation tonight such as “when the hell did ‘texting’ become a word?” and “how could a deer with SIX legs (that’s two more legs than the average deer, mind you) NOT be able to outrun a dog, but live to tell about it to Fox News?“.
And if that weren’t enough to process, we have: “Dolly Creeps Toward Texas-Mexico Border, Expected to be Turned Away by Border Patrol” and Fox News is blowing the lid off of the “UNDERWATER WAR ON TERROR,” which, incidentally, was the rejected plotline for Fox’s popular show, 24, starring Keifer Sutherland. I capitalized that last headline because that one is completely NOT MADE UP. It’s front page with a full color graphic on FNews at the time of this writing.
This is why holySmith! is and always will be the undisputed leader in online news reporting.
In an unrelated story, holySmith! is now an FDIC-insured qualified destination for all your banking and investment needs. So in the event that your regular bank should fail this week, you can trust your funds with holySmith! because holySmith! believes in what the great Gene Simmons from KISS always says, “you work hard for your money, and I work hard for your money.”