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Intra-paternal thoughts

holySmith! has grown tired of always having to solve the world’s problems, so it is time to switch gears a bit.

A thought hit me today when I was at work. I saw my son’s picture (you know, holySmith! The Baby) and suddenly I was consumed by what he would look like when he grows up, who he will be, what he will be doing. Suddenly, I got really excited. Potential is very exciting because I can see him doing so many things.

It has already been six months if you can believe it. I can’t believe it. There is a huge part of me that never wants him to grow up because it is just so simple and fun right now. He is just fun to be around. When he is happy (which is most of the time) he is REALLY happy and he laughs and smiles. When he is upset, he is REALLY upset and everything just sucks for a while. He has basic reactions and he is exploring his ability to make noises. His coordination is developing and . . .wow, I could go on for days about this. Clearly, he fascinates me and he is just fun to sit back and watch.

Then there is this tiny part of me that can’t wait until he walks and talks and can vote and go to college. He is like a book that I can’t put down because I just HAVE to know what happens next.

Everyone always says, “enjoy him while you can” and I am certainly doing that because I realize that time flies. I realize that suddenly I will stand up one day and he will be looking me in the eyes.

That part is scary as hell because it forces me to contemplate my own mortality. If he is older, then I am really older. Mortality has always been the scariest part of life for me simply because I am afraid I will die and miss the Aliens landing, which will be the coolest thing EVER. I hope they get here before 2074 because after that, I am pretty much on borrowed time.

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