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Loss extends Cards’ slide to seven

God Damn It.

Here we go again. Just like last year, the Cardinals are making me want to break stuff. It is only because I love them so much that I feel I must rant. I mean, on the 20th, we were like eight games ahead of everyone. That was six days ago. They have not won a game since, and Houston (I hate the Astros) has won everything, including a sweep of the Cardinals.

At this point, I have two thoughts. The first: If we are going to continue to blow leads and suck ass, we may as well choke now and not do it in the playoffs (because we won’t be in them). If we cough up the division and miss the post season, it’s probably for the better since we wouldn’t have home field advantage and we would probably get swept anyway.

My second thought is that this is a test to lower my expectations before the playoffs. The past few years, we have dominated, so the dominance was supposed to continue into the playoffs. But that obviously wasn’t the case. So maybe, just maybe this year the St. Louis Cardinals will decide to snap out of this losing streak and actually play ball. Maybe they are challenging themselves by letting the Astros (hate ’em) get within a game of the division title and maybe right at the last minute–in true Lucy/Charlie Brown field-goal kicking fashion–they will pull it out right at the last second.

Or maybe I am just a trusty-Charlie Brown and they are fucking with my head and my emotions.

Did I mention I hate the Astros?

Yeah, that would be as sweet as the bomb Pujols hit in the playoffs against them. Perhaps this is just how we need to do it. The Cardinals might be like I was in college. . .you have forever to write a paper, but you don’t start until the night before and you pull out a miracle at the last second. Most of my best papers were done minutes before the deadlines. It was like I needed the most intense pressure in order to perform my best. Maybe that’s the Cardinals’ plan this week. Maybe they let it slide until tomorrow and they pull one out against the Padres. We finish against Milwaukee, the last team we beat to win our last World Series in 1982. Maybe we pull it out that way, then go into the playoffs all piss and vinegar, kick everyone’s ass, and walk out of there with the World Series trophy.

All I know is that I am pissed off and I am losing sleep, and it is all because of the St. Louis Cardinals (and my pregnant wife, the looming stress of fatherhood, work, and life in general).

God Damn It.

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