Politicians and racists, listen up. HolySmith! has the solution that will fix everything with the Mexican-American border.
First of all, my thanks to El Gammy for posting about Canada on his blog, which got me thinking about the border issue.
The minute men militia organizes themselves down on the Arizona/Mexico border to round up illegals. People bitch endlessly about how undocumented workers steal “American” jobs. The government was talking about putting up a giant wall to keep “them” out – SIDE NOTE on that: clearly nobody in the Bush administration has been to or read about how well that worked in Berlin (yeah I said “Bush” and “read” in the same sentence).
Anyway, back on target here. . .the solution is to do what our neighbors to the North have done: play hockey. Yes, hockey.
If Mexicans would get a few teams together and submit to the NHL an application for expansion, our “border problem” would be solved. Is it really so crazy? When was the last time Canadians were mentioned when it comes to border security? If terrorists were smart, they would start recruiting in Canada and start making the Canadians do all their dirty work (sounds like a future plotline for the show 24). Canadians basically have an all-access pass to America to come and go as they please, but nobody gives two shits when it comes to keeping the lowlife Manitobans or the job-stealing Albertans out of the US.
And they don’t have to. In America, they figure if you are a hockey-playing state with teams worthy of NHL competition, then you are evolved and intelligent enough to gain access to our fair country. If you are just too dumb to play hockey because you don’t know what the lines and the circles mean, or you can’t afford equipment, or you would just rather bake in the sun for hours instead of keeping cool in the ice rink, then it sucks to be you and you can’t get in to the party zone that is the USA.
Could you imagine a gang of Quebecois lined up at the Home Depot parking lot looking to cut your grass? How do you know they aren’t? Canadians are the invisible enemy because they are pasty whities just like so many Americans. Canadians have the advantage of surprise over the US because nobody would ever notice them, if not for their goofy accents.
So as far as HolySmith! is concerned, the problem is solved. Hell, I will donate all my old hockey sticks to the cause just because I can and that’s just the kind of guy I am.