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My Father Wants Grandkids

My mom called today (computer issues). In the conversation, she mentioned that my dad now wants grandkids. No, his biological clock isn’t ticking or anything, apparently he really wants to help name the kid. His name of choice: Buttnugget.

For those readers who know my father, this comes as no surprise at all. I guess he suggested the name to my aunt and uncle for their new dog, but was flatly rejected.

I told my mother that in the event that I create a child, I will most likely try to sell the naming rights of said kid to the highest corporate bidder. I figure if baseball stadiums can do it, then why can’t I?

If not, I might give the kid a model number, like R2-D2 or something. I have to get creative with a last name like Smith, you know. Maybe we’ll call him Holy. Yeah, Holy Smith. Then I could hand over the website when he’s old enough (or she, I have no preference).


{ 2 comments… add one }
  • El Gammy April 6, 2006, 6:36 pm

    Jon, as your parental advisor I must strongly object to this “no preference” clause in this post. Trust me, as much as I love Cassandra with all my heart and soul, I’ve come to realize that the bond she shares with the one who conceived her will forever be stronger than the one her and I share. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but being able to teach a young padawan the ways of the force, the burp, the fart and the proper way to celebrate Niner touchdowns and Braves’ homers is something that I now yearn for on a consistent basis.

    I would not want for you to suffer the same fate, so when you finally get to work on the production of R2-D2 or Chase Home Finance (I think they’ll be the highest bidders), channel all your scrotum soldiers that carry the coveted Y chromosome to the front lines.

    And one more thing, whatever you do, DO NOT name your son Efrem the Retarded Rabbit, he’ll hate you for it.

  • Nate Dogg April 7, 2006, 1:42 am

    How about you name him Samoflange?

    Incase you’re wondering what a Samoflange is..
    Check out this url..


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