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NASCAR – Do you get it? I don’t.

The whole NASCAR craze is totally retarded. I have thought this for years.

Mr. Hamilton, my old high school biology and astronomy teacher, as well as one of my baseball coaches, used to always say that track and field was the off-season sport for dumb linemen because they were only smart enough to run around in circles (and could never make it as baseball players). It was funny because he was an uber-jock himself, an All-American football player in college at one point. But he was right.

Track and field is pretty boring and dumb. I know, I ran track one year in school (the 3200 meter). One year was enough. Never again. You wait for a gun to go off, you run around in circles, and you do your best not to collapse or vomit when you finish.

For me, NASCAR is like watching long distance track and field on television. I see enough asshole/idiot drivers on the streets each day that I don’t feel compelled to watch it on television. That and it is cheesy and dumb. The drama is so not-compelling. It is clear that the drivers, crews, and owners are trying to be sports entertainment in a WWE-esque fashion, but they really suck at it.

It seems fitting that dumb NASCAR gains popularity right along with dumb reality shows, because it uses the same formula of “reality” based drama to hook people. They do their best to force the drama, magnify the miniscule, and bend the tracks so the trainwreck happens. Maybe I am old, maybe I am wired differently – whatever – I don’t get the attraction. If anyone thinks “reality” TV is remotely based on reality – wow. I hope they aren’t registered voters. Oh, wait. They are. Look who has been president for the past two terms.

I am not a fan of trainwrecks. They are cheap entertainment. NASCAR is cheap entertainment and it bores me. Let’s hope the craze follows the pattern. That’s a crash I can’t wait to see.

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • El Gammy June 26, 2007, 10:49 am

    Here’s how I figure some people actually find amusement in watching cars go in circles: you remember as a kid, you would take a dump and then get up and stand right on top of the toilet? So that you could watch your most prized turds go in circles before they went down the drain?

    Well… I stopped doing that as soon as I discovered other sources of entertainment, but apparently the people who enjoy NASCAR never grew out of that phase. In essence, NASCAR is an extension of their inclination to watch smelly things go ’round (as you’ve heard – NASCAR drivers go right in their suites during races).

    And that’s my best possible explanation for why some people can tolerate NASCAR.

  • El Gammy June 26, 2007, 10:53 am

    Please excuse the frivolous “e” I used in “suits.” In fact, let’s just go with jumpsuits, as in “NASCAR drivers pee in their jumpsuits.” Thanks.

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