≡ Menu

News Flash: holySmith! The Parents did not call to console holySmith! on death of ferret

Yes, it’s true. Neither holySmith! The Mother, nor holySmith! The Father, nor any other relatives called to offer condolences on the recent death of Sadie, the last of the original three holySmith! Ferrets.

Sadie passed away on May 11 from Insulinoma.

Judging by the fact that my website traffic from Missouri is way down, I am guessing that either a tornado finally claimed the holySmith! Parental Unit and possibly other relatives, or some other unforseen issue has arisen that would justify such gross, negligent behavior. holySmith! The Boy was all ready to tell Grandma what happened to his ferret. 🙁 Cheese and rice, Grandma. Think of the children.

Anyway, states such as New York and Texas (and I don’t even know anyone in either of those states) are sending more traffic to holySmith.com than Missouri in the past week, so I am basically making this blog post to see WTF is going on in Missouri, which is usually my #2 highest traffic referring location next to my current home state of Arizona.

WTF?, Missouri? WTF?, indeed.

Arizona is number one because I force people I know to go to my site and pretend to read shit. Missouri is number two because most of my relatives live there, and by the rules governing blood relatives, they must periodically visit my website and pretend to care what I am doing, even though most of what I write is total bullshit – unless one of my ferrets dies, of course. That really did happen. And so did my 300, like two years ago.

Seriously Missouri. Get your shit together. (And make sure to call my cell when you finally get a glove and get in the game already).

{ 4 comments… add one }
  • El Gammy May 19, 2009, 1:00 pm

    Let the record show that El Gammy approached holySmith and verbally offered his condolences.

    In addition, El Gammy has held the title of “Most Frequent Commenter on holySmith” for at least the past 3 years or so.

    Please take this into account when you update your will. The least – the very least – you can do is leave me your bowling equipment.

    PS. The only thing more retarded than MySpace is Twitter. Is there a single fad or trend or whatever that you WON’T blindly follow like the rest of the mindless masses? I recently stopped calling you holyDouche, but I might have to start calling you holySheep from now on.

  • holySmith! May 19, 2009, 1:23 pm

    Everything I do on holySmith! is a test bed for the stuff I do for our beloved company(-ies). The Twitter feed for holySmith! was established like two years ago, but never used. Now I have updated it to test the ability to plug oneself or one’s company via the combination of facebook, twitter, websites, etc. So far, it seems to be working. We’re blowin’ up all over Twitter now, FYI. We’ve even got members of Congress surfing our site now. . .oh, and your years of obsequiousness will certainly earn you some love from my will, once I write it. We’ll let you know. Perhaps the ball that I used to bowl the 300 is in order seeing as how you were with me when I bought it and had it drilled.

  • Aunt Margie May 20, 2009, 8:47 am

    I didn’t know. I’m so sorry to hear about Sadie! Please except the sympathies of the entire Ballwin and New Jersey arms of the family on your loss. Unfortunately your mother and I have not shared phone time for a few weeks, so we are way behind on the news.

    Not to minimize our message of condolence but today IS a celebratory day. Wow! 35 years, who can believe it. And the amazing thing is that your Aunt Margie is only 40 herself! (It is true that 60-ish is the new 40, right?) Hope your day is special, we will toast you at dinner. 🙂

  • HolySmith!The #2 Cousin May 20, 2009, 9:05 am

    My dearest cousin, cousin-in-law, and kid,

    I would like to first send my condolences for the loss of Sadie. I am saddned to know that you are sans pet and that the child will have to pick out another pet soon. Might I suggest a dog…bassets seem to be popular with your family.

    Secondly, I would like to wish you the happiest of birthdays. As today you reach that milestone, the first to cross into your upper 30s, keep good notes cause I’ll be there in a few years. I would have sent a card but being the trend-bucker (not on twitter or myspace BUT got the job)I am travelling for work. Right now I am in Quebec…let me just say the French Canadians are really nice when you have a French name. Plus if you try to speak a little they are very friendly. Anyway, cuz…Happy Birthday and once I am back in the states (and not international roaming) I will give you a call to speak with the boy again.

    BTW…love the conversations with a 2 year old. I hope that the conversations with a 3 year old are as enjoyable!

Leave a Comment