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People from Illinois have the Dumbest Vanity Plates

I’ve been around. I’ve lived in a lot of places. One thing that I can’t ever seem to get over is that people with Illinois vanity license plates are dumb. I have never seen a single creative vanity plate from Illinois. Almost every single one you see has the person’s name with a number. Most of the time, the person’s name doesn’t fit and it is some random number, like 12.

Now, the point of a vanity plate is to make a statement or to be creative (CRE8IVE as long as we are speaking license plate here). I can understand wanting to put your name on the car (well, actually, I think that is stupid), but when hundreds of other people have the same name, you have to get your name and then some number. That means if your last name is something like Johnston, you probably have to abbreviate and leave room for the number. So now that means that not only are you NOT the first person with that name to get that tag, but you have to publicly state that you are the 12th person named Johnston (or whatever name/number it is) to not have the creativity to come up with something unique to bolt onto your vehicle.

Retards. Don’t forget that I live in Arizona, which may as well be another suburb of Chicago since half the people who moved here are from Chicago (myself included, although I prefer to clarify that while I have lived in Chicago and other towns in IL, I am FROM St. Louis). Anyway, I just saw another dumb example on the way home today (an IL tag) advertising WLD SYD 9. I assume that means “Wild Syd” and that Syd is probably short for Sydney because it looked like a chick who was driving. I don’t know why it pisses me off every time I see a dumb IL vanity plate, but it does. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you have to PAY EXTRA for the custom plate, so why would you settle for something unoriginal and otherwise stupid? Maybe it’s just me.

Thankfully, Arizona has some pretty creative vanity plates that are fun to figure out as you drive. And since all the people here from IL wait several years to change their plates over to Arizona plates, there are still plenty of chances to be creative without having to append your name with a number. Unfortunately for me, the example vanity plate for AZ is JSMITH, so it looks like I will just have to be more creative I suppose.

I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that this happens in Illinois. After all, all those same retards are Cubs fans 🙂

UPDATE: Somewhere in here I mentioned that people have to pay extra for the vanity plates. In a recent trip back to St. Louis, MO (it’s right across the river from IL, dummy), I was told that people don’t have to pay extra for vanity plates in Illinois. THAT’S STILL NO EXCUSE!

Secondly, in the same trip back to St. Louis, I saw literally hundreds of examples of stupid Illinois vanity plates, thus solidifying my theory. We’re done with this one. Write it into law.

{ 3 comments… add one }
  • IL QT June 19, 2006, 7:37 pm

    My friend refered me to this blog entry on license plates.

    Just a clarification point since you’re bashing Illinois vanity plates… It’s not that we aren’t trying to be creative, but Secretary of State Jesse White does not allow letters and numbers to mix on Illinois vanity plates! Any numbers MUST be after the letters, never before and never interspersed, and there will be an automatic space in-between characters and numerals.

    This tends to make the Illinois plates quite bland, as all potential to use numbers instead of letters (to spell a word) is not allowed. I think this is why the Illinois drivers are so limited on what they can put on a vanity plate.

    I just wanted to set the record straight, and I wish you the best of luck and creativity with your Arizona plates.

    P.S. I think the “WLD SYD 9” plate is supposed to mean “Wild Side”!

  • El Gammy July 5, 2006, 5:37 pm


    How’s that for making a statement? Whoever thinks you’re the 666th Jon in Arizona is either an idiot or a Christian… wait a minute, all Christians ARE idiots (giggity), so nevermind.

    You’ve got to find one that reaches a larger audience. Have you thought about any Star Wars themed plates? Such as Obi Jon, or JediJon, or DarthJon – damnit, that last one doesn’t fit.

    How bout Boba Jon, Jon Solo, Jonakin (that’s lame), Joda, or JnLucas – get it?

    Hmm… personally, I’d go with ObiJon, BobaJon, or JonSolo, but that’s just me. Thanks for letting me waste your time, Master.

  • Cray May 14, 2012, 11:35 pm

    Not to nitpick too much here, especially considering this is an extremely old entry, but your misuse of the verbiage describing Illinois plates is like nails on a chalkboard, so I must correct you. The type of plates you are referring to are not “vanity” plates. They are “personalized” plates. They adhere to the pattern of the type of plate you’re buying and could have therefore eventually been randomly generated. For passenger plates, it’s 1-5 letters, space, 1-2 numbers. For B-Truck plates, it’s 1-2 numbers, space, 1-4 letters. Personalized plates used to be available at no extra charge, but now they do cost extra. Vanity plates are a different animal. They are all letters or all numbers. They cost a premium amount.

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