Pocahontas is doing well

holySmith!holySites!, Shameless Plugs, Words6 Comments

John Smith & Pocahontas

John Smith & Pocahontas

Thanks for asking. Pocahontas is doing well.

WTF? You might ask.

Well, holySmith! chose the name holySmith! because Al Gore, or whichever toolbox invented the Internet, decided to use JohnSmith.com and JonSmith.com as his first two examples of what a domain name is. That means everyone with the name Jo(h)n Smith automatically got screwed out of a domain name right out of the gate.

Sure it’s cool when we get credit card offers in the mail, the card already has our name on it. It’s also neat that we are the first name you see when you see on your new phone (until you peel that plastic layer off that shows you the example display). Yes it’s funny when people meet you for the first time and they say stuff like “Is that your REAL name?” or “Yeah, right!” or “Do you build toilets?”

And of course, they always think they are the first to say “So how is Pocahontas these days, anyway?

Actually, once you look your Jo(h)n Smith Complex in the eyes and embrace it, it quickly becomes one of the greatest experiences in your life. I literally get excited at the moment just before someone introduces me to someone else either at work or as friends. As soon as they say, “and this is Jon Smith” you see the look of disbelief on the other person’s face when they realize that they actually just met someone named Jo(h)n Smith. The novelty never wears off for me, nor should it for you.

That’s why holySmith! has started the Facebook group: “Guys named Jo(h)n Smith who love being asked how Pocahontas is doing“. The group is open to all those who share the name (and variations of it) as well as to all those who know a guy with that name. . .in other words, you are reading this. . .I know who you are. . .I know your IP address. . .I have Google Analytics. . .you have no excuses!

So check out the group and the new holySmith! Facebook page. If you’re crafty, maybe you can find the real me on Facebook! Good luck with that search.

6 Comments on “Pocahontas is doing well”

  1. You should start a facebook group called “I’m the only guy on facebook named Gamaliel so go F yourself and don’t join my group, asshole.” That would rule. Douche.

  2. Oh yeah.. and I always thought it was great how all the Disney princesses were hot, sexy bitches:
    – Aurora, aka Sleeping Beauty (my personal favorite)
    – Cinderella
    – Snow White
    – Ariel aka Little Mermaid (love the clam bra)

    You’ll notice these fine-ass whores are all honkeys. Then Disney decided to throw some color into the mix, and out came the two ugliest skanks in the Disney lineup:

    1) your girl Pocahontas (filthy feather-Indian beast)
    2) Mulan (so goddamn ugly she is mistaken for a guy in her own fucking movie)

    To review: white bitches = hotter than the sun. Minority bitches = dirty skanks. As a personal lover of all things white and hater of all things brown (including myself), I find this absolutely fascinating.

    By the way, I purposely left out Jasmine because she’s deceptively dot-Indian hot, and she would’ve totally killed my little rant here.

  3. Careful. . .Indians put the DOT in dot com, you know, with all the outsourcing and what not. You should definitely explore this little cartoon hottie rant more on your blog, or whatever you want to call that thing you call a ‘website’.

  4. I think I will… that’s definitely a good way to add to my “Chicks I’d Bang” category. Just gotta find that thing that I haven’t had in a while. I believe it’s commonly referred to as “time.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *