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R-S-T-L-N-E: holySmith! the Baby is addicted to the Wheel

The Wheel of Fortune has some sort of power over my son. It normally doesn’t have that kind of influence until you are in your late 60s and living peacefully in Sun City, Arizona.

holySmith! the Wife and I are not sure what to make of this. The boy can go from a tired crabby fit to an absolute trance as soon as the Wheel starts. We don’t know if it is the announcer’s voice, the blinking lights, or the sound effects, but whatever the combination, it seems to work. . .almost too well.

I am sure the Knights Templar are behind it somehow. Perhaps my son is being brainwashed by hidden messages that emminate from the wheel of fortune that will one day allow him to uncover the secret of the lost arc or the truth beind who killed JFK. I don’t know. It’s just kind of creepy how the Wheel has such a stronghold on my kid.

On the positive side, he is learning letters and words, so that’s a plus. He’s also calmed by the Wheel, so we recently decided to Tivo the show to make sure we have one at all times to calm the boy in the event of a crabby fit.

Perhaps the Wheel of Fortune is the new CIA recruiting tool which somehow spells out secret messages via the puzzles shown by Vanna. Perhaps the early recruiting program is trying to identify codebreakers at an early age. They figure that if toddlers can pop some of these puzzles, not only is that a great indicator of intelligence, it is also a great way to get the next Jack Bauer.

Pat and Vanna, what have you done to my child?

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