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The true victim of the tea party

Let me see if I understand this: a bunch people who are opposed to high taxes, wasteful spending, and big government are going to protest those things by wasting money and tea to essentially create a huge mess that they will have to clean up themselves. (The organizers promise that the protesters will clean up all the wasted tea bags so they don’t also wind up with littering fines on top of the cost of wasting one million bags of tea.)

That’ll show ’em.

From MSNBC.com (Karen Bleier / AFP-Getty Images) Brothers dressed in patriotic costumes join in an anti-tax

It’s not the seemingly disjointed messages and gripes, nor the number of conservative talk show hosts trying to make tea-bagging jokes – no. The loser in all this is the wasted tea. I am an avid iced tea drinker (daily) and I don’t like it fancy. I like unsweetened stuff that you get at restaurants out of the separate iced tea dispenser (not the sweetened raspberry stuff that shares space with the soda fountain). I enjoy my iced tea the way most people enjoy their daily coffee. I don’t drink coffee. I drink iced tea. It’s my thing. If I can’t get my iced tea today or tomorrow because a bunch of toolboxes are wasting it, I am going to be pissed.

From what I understand, the protesters are going to throw one million tea bags into a pile in the middle of Lafayette Square in Washington D.C. That sounds like a great deal for places like Sam’s Club and Costco since those are the only two places I can think of where you could purchase that amount of tea for the sole purpose of wasting it.

The tea has nothing to do with anything, metaphorically or otherwise.

Way to go protesters. You’re basically trying to evoke the Boston Tea Party, which was a protest against the British government partly based on the fact that colonists were being unfairly taxed by the British government – NOT THEIR OWN ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES. But whatever. Spin it how you want.

I’m all for a good protest because that’s what makes the news entertaining when the protesters and police start to get into it and the tear gas starts to flow, the rubber bullets and beatings start, etc. It’s great TV no matter which side of the protest you favor.

But why do you have to waste millions of bags of perfectly good unsweetened iced tea? Why?

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • El Gammy April 16, 2009, 4:17 pm

    I’d like to say I feel for you holydouche, but the fact of the matter is that your precious tea ruins an otherwise perfectly good glass of water.

    The way I see it, these hippies are doing their part to stimulate the economy by buying all those bags of tea. Besides, all of this is happening outside of my 5ft. personal perimeter and it’s not related to sports, so as for my policy, I couldn’t give a shit less.

  • holySmith! April 16, 2009, 4:34 pm

    Technically, these aren’t the usual hippies doing the protesting. Normally, hippies are smelly and broke, and they usually aren’t right-wing conservatives. This was a conservative movement trying to make some noise despite the fact that they don’t have much of a message or constructive alternative to what is happening in the world today. In other words, the country voted to change to something other than what the conservatives were doing because of where it got us. But nevermind all that shit. I know you like cars, so adding tea to water is much like adding a supercharger to a car’s engine. It makes it better, faster, more powerful. That and white people really like iced tea, so you better get on board.

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