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Why are the 80s back?

I guess I am getting old. I am seeing kids (those younger than me) with ugly bright colored shirts — like fuscia Polo shirts — with the collars folded up wearing the big Ponch and John-esqe sunglasses. It’s creepy. The 80s fashions were mostly gay way back when and they are horrific now. I don’t get it.

I mean, I can see the hip huggers and bell bottoms from other decades coming back…those were ok. But moon boots? Upside-down alligator Izod shirts, top-siders, leg warmers, Miami Vice? What the F people?

Are people that devoid of creativity that we have to bring back crappy fashions of the past? I can understand some mixing of eras and juxtaposed fashions that forge a new look, but man, times are tough if this is the best that the fashionably hip can muster. Pretty soon I will be busting out my mullet, high-top all-white Reebok basketball shoes with untied laces, complimented by my folded over, rolled up blue jeans (to form a nice tapered leg), topped off with my long-sleeve collared Benneton shirt (looks like a rugby jersey for those of you who don’t remember). I don’t like where things are going at all.

Even the Goth kids look dumb.

And the shaggy hair thing is still beyond me. Long hair is a lot like station wagons…we all go through that phase where we have to have it, but once the hazy denial finally wears off and we regain our eyesight — that one morning when the fog lifts and we actually can see ourselves in the mirror…well, we GET A FUCKING HAIRCUT and realize just how dorky we looked. And same with the station wagons. I believe they are called SUVs (on car frames), or Crossovers, or whatever they are disguising them as. Station wagons were just that years and years ago. Then they turned into minivans, then SUVs, now there are thousands of them. But fear not, the station wagons will go away soon enough.

Mark my words…the K Car is not far from re-introduction. After all, it is a nice, reliant automobile. And if I had $1,000,000, I would buy you one.

Am I buggin’ you? I don’t mean to bug ya. Ok Edge, play the blues…

There were good things that happened in the 80s…but fashion should have definitely been left out of the time capsule. And for christ’s sake…Hasselhoff???

{ 1 comment… add one }
  • El Gammy August 8, 2006, 10:13 am

    that one morning when the fog lifts and we actually can see ourselves in the mirror…well, we GET A FUCKING HAIRCUT and realize just how dorky we looked.

    I had been in denial up until that proverbial fog lifted. “GET A FUCKING HAIRCUT” was the exact phrase my inner voice used to tell me to cut the crap (and by crap, it meant hair).

    As with other life scenarios, you’re so dead on with the long hair saga that its starting to get a little creepy. I wonder where else you’ve been to when you astral travel.

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